Our forgiving others is absolutely crucial to our physical and spiritual health. We cannot have a healthy relationship with God if we are holding a grudge against another person. It doesn’t matter if we are right and feel that we are justified to be mad at someone.

Forgiving others is not always easy. Sometimes it is impossible without God’s help. It may not be easy, but it is vital to our relationship with Christ. 

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

  “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

  “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

  “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.  He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

  “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

  “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

  “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger, his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart” (Matthew 18:21-35).

This is an excellent example of someone receiving grace and forgiveness from God, but not willing to offer grace to others. 

God is more than willing to forgive us and extend His grace to us, even though we don’t deserve it. But, He expects us to, in turn, extend forgiveness to others.

Jesus plainly links our forgiveness by the Father with our forgiveness of our fellow man. At the center of the Lord’s prayer, Jesus taught us to pray, “Forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” 

Jesus is clearly saying that if you do not forgive men their sins, the Father will not forgive your sins. The scriptures make it clear that our forgiveness depends on our forgiving others. Grace begins and ends with forgiveness.

“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15).

“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins” (Luke 6:25).

There is another aspect of forgiveness that we need to consider. God tells us that vengeance is His, not ours.

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord” (John 12:19).

Why does God say vengeance is for Him?  Surely sin always has its consequences, but do you think God wants or enjoys dishing out our revenge?  This statement is not about the one receiving revenge. It is about the one who is angry and wants revenge. God knows the one who is angry towards another, the one who feels they have been hurt or taken advantage of is being hurt by their anger much more than the one they are angry at. A person who is holding anger or resentment towards another is being robbed of their joy and closeness with God. God loves us and knows what is best for us. He is taking the burden of revenge from us.

Anger is not only damaging to our physical health, it is devastating to our spiritual well-being. It may require the love of Christ to be able to forgive, but when we do it will heal and cleanse our very soul. Joy will replace our anger.

It has been said that if you forgive someone, then someone is set free, and that someone is YOU!

Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. Sometimes we think they are the same. We believe that if we can’t forget then we haven’t forgiven. Forgiving doesn’t depend on forgetting. They are not the same.

We usually can’t forget and sometimes it may be best if we don’t. We may still need to be cautious around someone we have forgiven. Nor do we have to accept or approve of their behavior.

The key to forgiving others is to quit focusing on what they did to you and start focusing on what God did for you. You will never be called upon to give anyone more grace than God has already given you.

Forgiving means that we no longer hold anything against someone. But more importantly, it means we are trusting God with the situation and our life and we are no longer a slave to our anger. It means our relationship with God is healed and we can now enjoy a much closer walk with him.